"Can He Really Say That?" is a blog dedicated to bringing you the latest in celeb gossip and making fun of it so you don't have to. CHRST is an extention of the (now defunct) "Lenny and Jonny Show", only on the BIRN.
Lenny and I struck a deal with Brad Pitt's($1) publicist that every time we mention Brad Pitt's($1) name on "The Lenny and Jonny Show" or "Can He Really Say That?" we would get a dollar. So far we have used it to buy 37 pizzas, 7 disposable cell phones, a really rad black light poster of a tiger, and $62 worth of iTunes downloads.
Madonna must have really been excited when she was inducted in to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night, because she completely forgot to fake a British accent. And she called the crowd “motherfuckers” as soon as she got on stage. How rock and roll of her. In her long and illustrious career Madonna has proved that being a mediocre singer and dancer, leeching off of good producers, and stealing Michael Jackson’s manager can get you places. She went on to talk about doing drugs in the 80’s (racy!) and had Iggy Pop do her performance for her.
Also inducted that night was heartland rocker John Melloncamp and singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen who wrote that song “Halleiluah” that you secretly like even though you thought Jeff Buckley wrote it. The Ventures and The Dave Clark Five were also inducted, although, to the best of my knowledge, none of them called anybody a motherfucker.
Marie Claire is saying that George Clooney is going to marry Sarah Larson.
The self-confessed marriage-shy actor is, according to inside reports, already engaged to Sarah, whom he met when she served him drinks at the Palm Casino Hotel in Las Vegas.
One restaurant worker in Laglio, the town where Clooney has a villa, said: ‘They haven’t made any announcement yet, but there are people in this town who know more than me. They say the couple are already engaged.’
George needs to figure out his place in this world. I was fine when he was dating Renee Zellweger and that Talia Balsam chick, but now that he’s picking up cocktail waitresses he’s poaching from our field. an average guys chances with a Zellweger are slim, but desperate cocktail waitresses are fish in a barrel. Get off my lawn, Clooney.
UPDATE-Us Weekly has a scoop saying this isn’t true. I don’t want to say I told you so, but…
It was announced this weekend that Matt Damon and his wife Luciana are expecting their third child. In honor of this momentous occasion I would like to announce that the phrase “Baby Bump” is banned on Can He Really Say That from this point on. Included in this is “baby bulge”, “baby pooch”, and “baby bubble”. Because fuck overused buzz words.
There was a rumor that if the writers strike ended television would get good again. Nobody told E! it seems, who rolled out Ashton Kutchers “Pop Fiction” last Sunday. The premier episode was Avril Lavigne wearing a prosthetic “baby bump” around LA to see if photographers would notice.
Here is a clip from the show…
The object of the show, for those who don’t know, is to get celebrities who think they are far more important than they actually are to partake in “pranks” to trick the paparazzi and celebrity media/blog world, thus making them realize how stupid their actions are. This did, in fact, succeed in having an affect on me as a celebrity blogger. I now think Avril Lavigne should have her tubes tied. I again just don’t feel very punk’d. A married woman might be pregnant, eh? How outlandish, how risque!
The best part of the show is all the big talk about how awesome its going to be until they pull up to where she has to get out and she almost chickens out because she is afraid all the people will think she’s fat. Well, maybe the best part of the show is the fact that nobody thought she looked pregnant. Yeah, thats the best.
We’ve been punk’d. You too, you are included in the “we” of which I speak. USA Today revealed yesterday that Paris’ spiritual journey was all part of Ashton Kutcher’s Grand Plan to trick the paparazzi and blogging world and it worked. Kind of. I mean, it wasn’t that great of a punk. To be honest I still think Paris is the one that got punk’d. She had to waste a Saturday night hanging out with some old hairy dude, She looked like a hypocritical asshole for doing it, she had to give a piece of her jewelry to a stranger, and almost a week later they come out with this weak story about how it was for a show for E!. Not just any show, an Ashton Kutcher show.
From USA Todays website:
And though some accused Hilton of getting Punk’d, the joke’s on them: The entire scene was staged for a new show from Punk’d producer Ashton Kutcher premiering Sunday on E! (10:30 ET/PT).
Pop Fiction, an eight-episode series, is a prank show targeting paparazzi and gullible media outlets. It’s made with the eager help of stars, who were the laughing stocks of Kutcher’s former MTV show. This time the shoe’s on the other foot, and the series has been kept so tightly under wraps that E!’s own website fell victim to the Hilton hoax and other planted stories that producers won’t yet divulge.
I just don’t feel that…punky. It isn’t like Ashton jumped out from behind a plant to rub my face in it only so I can have the same ” Who the fuck is he? Is that the kid from ‘Dude, Where’s My Car’?” reaction that every famous person he pranked had. Keep trying, guy. You’ll get there.
I assume everyone is up to date with who Sam Lufti is and that there is a restraining order against him from the Spears camp, and if you are you didn’t hear about it from me because I hate writing about this chick. This story is too good to pass up though. It would appear that Sam Lufti’s desire to control chubby, rich white girls can’t be stopped even by a court order. OK magazine said this yesterday:
Lufti, who was formally served with papers two weeks ago, is fighting back and has enlisted the help of none other than Brit herself to overturn the restraining order.
Sam, who’s banned from going within 250 yards of Britney, contacted her via a third party to sway her back on his side.
“I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her,” Sam reportedly said. “I am innocent. I am Britney’s friend and would never hurt her.”
That’s hard to believe based on Lynne Spears’ testimony for the restraining order, in which she revealed Sam had been secretly drugging Brit and controlling every aspect of her life. But in Sam’s mind, that doesn’t warrant a restraining order.
I’m curious as to why he hasn’t gotten in trouble for contacting her through a third party, because all of my restraining orders say I can’t contact them in any way. This guy is one step away from digging a hole in the back room equipped with a bucket on a rope. It shocks me that she needed to be drugged even more. I would assume that she was on plenty enough drugs to begin with, and she isn’t exactly a shoe in to win the County Science Fair in the first place. Lately she looks like he could have convinced her to do his bidding with ham sandwiches and whiskey. Come to think of it, maybe he was.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present to you Mother of the Year 2008. This summer the always classy Dina Lohan is debuting her reality show about breaking her 14 year old daughter Ali into the world of showbusiness. People Magazine says more:
Tentatively titled Living Lohan, E! (and) debuting this summer, the series will follow the Lohan matriarch as she juggles family life with business, attempting to launch 14-year-old daughter Ali’s entertainment career. Like her famous sister, Ali wants to sing and act – and plans to record songs at Las Vegas’ Palms Casino on the show.
“The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today,” Lisa Berger of E! said in a statement. “This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”
I am sure most American moms can relate to Dina Lohan. At least the drunk abusive husband part. Entertaining? Not so much. I can only hope she wears a fuzzy hat and uses a cane at some point. I guess she isn’t doing well enough milking off of Lindsay so she has to turn the other kid out to bring Momma home some change. Those Botox treatments aren’t going to pay for themselves.
FACT: One third of these guys have done Jessica Simpson.
John Mayer and Friends were honored last night by Cosmo for being “Fun Fearless Males”. “I guess you date Jessica Simpson and that makes you fearless.” I had to put quotes around that last sentence because I didn’t say it. I wish I did because its really funny, but I didn’t. Tony Romo did. About his girlfriend. Again.
I love that he subtly called her a whore. He should become a gossip blogger, because he has a knack for making fun of celebrities. I think he is trying to get her to dump him or something. Its like “How to loose a girl in 10 days”. The next step is to call Nick Lachey to figure out what the hell he had to do to get her to leave…
Tony: Nick, its Tony Romo. Listen bro, I need some help.
Nick: Sure man, do you need a hookup for HGH?
Tony: No, no, no. Its Jessica. She won’t leave. How did you do it?
Nick: Tony, you had better sit down, this is gonna take a while…
I wish it were possible to attach a sound file to my blogs. I would love to have a big booming voice that sounds like its in a gigantic cave say “EPIIIIIIIC FAAAAAAAAAIL” when you click on this. Paris Hilton, who apparently has been left without supervision again, pranced about Saturday with a Buddhist monk who she said was her spiritual adviser. The Daily Mail explains:
The hotel-heiress has been attempting change her party-girl image and it looks as if the ageing monk is giving her a helping hand.
Paris and her “guru” sat down to read a book called “The Path to the Painted Shaman” and the Hollwood celebrity appeared to be listening intently to what he had to say.
The monk also persuaded Paris to give away a piece of diamond jewelry as they wandered the streets together.
That isn’t the epic fail though. The epic fail is that TMZ figured out who her monk was. He is a hired actor. She planned this whole thing to improve her public image. This comes, of course, the weekend after she appeared on stage in Vegas and rolled around in her underwear in a giant champagne glass about as seductively as your Aunt Myrtle. The hired actor isn’t even some acting school drop out that poses for Sears catalogs, He has been in Pirates of the Caribbean and My Name is Earl. Maybe you’ve heard of them. Here is his Myspace too. If this guy is a monk I’m Queen Mary.
Tony Romo has big swinging brass ones. Tony told girlfriend Jessica Simpson to her face that she wasn’t as good of a singer as his ex, Carrie Underwood. to her FACE! TO-HER-FACE!! HER FACE!!!!
OK! magazine had this to say:
Doesn’t Tony Romo know you should never compare your girlfriend to your exes?
Though his lady love Jessica Simpson has enjoyed her share of musical success, Tony believes she’s not quite up to par with ex-girlfriend Carrie Underwood — and told her to her face!
“He really hurt Jess’ feelings,” the pal tells OK!. “She tried to laugh it off in Hawaii [where Tony played in the Pro Bowl], but she pouted whenever she heard Carrie’s songs playing.”
Adding insult to injury, the 27-year-old quarterback isn’t exactly lending his support to Jessica’s new country album either.
“Tony said he thought Jess would have trouble winning over audiences with her upcoming country CD,” the pal adds.”
Dude. Wow. I don’t know what to say about this. It must be nice to have hot blondes throwing themselves at you at such a rate that you can talk shit about them (to their face!) and not fear the repercussions. The repercussions being never getting in Jessica Simpson’s pants again. Those are serious repercussions. Most would prefer lethal injection.
Is Jessica making a country album to try to fight the ghost of Carrie Underwood that haunts her relationship? Hell yeah that is why she is making it. That bandwaggon hopping bitch.
